


The Third Party

by TheWanderingMuse



Series: Fifty Shades of Super [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is a good bro, F/F, F/M, Kara Danvers & Super Friends Do Not Know Lena Knows, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Maggie The Little Shit, Mistaken Identity, Pam from HR Can Be Scary, Pining, dating bets, lena is a tease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 12:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15413097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWanderingMuse/pseuds/TheWanderingMuse
Summary: With Pam from HR sitting at the helm of what is considered to be a sizeable pool of bets on the latest hottest topic - the blooming friendship between Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor’s eye-fucking and teasing (photographic evidence provided by Jess Huang from L-Corp). Money changes hands constantly by each week. Being a little ‘short’ on cash (when working with a federal government salary), Winn comes up with a foolproof plan. There is just one problem. His partner-in-crime has other ideas.





	1. Winn Comes Up With A Plan

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Agirlwhoreadstheclassics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agirlwhoreadstheclassics/gifts).



> Okay, so this is a stand-alone (pssstt: technically this one-shot baby is the sequel of 'Two Good to be True' but yeah) gifted fic to @Agirlwhoreadstheclassics which I initially had many doubts for having far too many interesting concepts to play with... As the weeks passed, I pretty much wrote myself and the plot down the rabbit hole of crack.
> 
> Hope you like it!

Bang. Bang. Bonk.

 

The sound repeats again and again. Winn pushes the side alcove door open with one hand while the other holds onto his DEO-issued encrypted touchscreen. He looks down below to find the Daxamite working out. It was always two right jabs and one left hook. No one should come looking for him, not even Director J’onn (Space Dad). He lets go of the door and slowly walks down the steps as he takes in the beads of salty droplets flowing down Mon-El’s face like soft summer rain. The sweat trickles down his back, soaking his grey DEO-issued standard shirt like a map of some foreign land.

“I’m here to rescue you,” Winn greets the Daxamite.

 

Bang. Ba-

 

Mon-El halts in mid-punch and tilts his head upwards to where Winn stands at the stairs. “Winn, my friend,” he greets with barely concealed glee. Triumph glints in those greyish eyes and his mouth twitches upwards on the left, dimpling his cheek. “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”

In response, he replies dryly and steps off the last rung. “Oh hey, they finally introduced you to Star Wars.”

Mon-El nods while his hand scratches the back of his head. “Well, Kara did the honours.” He claps his hands together and bounces on his heels. “So which part of this city dwelling are you going to show me?”

“Nuh-uh. Nope, we’re not going to a bar. I know that look. In fact, I’ve come to… to relieve you of your boredom and refocus your exuberant energies towards a pet project,” Winn crosses his arms as he glances at the dented steel chunk.

“Is it fun?”

Winn nods, pinching invisible air with his thumb and index finger. “Oh yeah and you owe me this much after all those bar hoppings you dragged me to.”

The Daxamite squints. “This is extortion. What do I get in return?”

“I’m not asking you to pay for all the booze and shots you ordered without my permission.”

“I don’t have Earth coins anyway,” Mon-El makes a show of shoving his hands into his trouser pockets and pulling them out. “See, I’m poorer than you.”

Winn waves his pouting away and then gulps when he hears Vasquez’s deadpan voice in his comms. <<Director J’onzz is looking for you, Schott. If you’re not here in ten minutes, you know what he’s going to do next.>>

_ Yikes. I’ll be a very dead man if he reads or even skims the surface. The dude is basically an enforcer of rules and although the dating bets have no such hard ground rules… yet (Pam should put one in place since she’s the captain of the dating board and know better that some agents -Alex mainly- have an unfair advantage. Like the fact that Alex keeps changing up her bets due to having all the inside scoop. It just spurs Maggie the little shit on to one-up those bets.)  _

Let’s just say, money changes hands too frequently and he wants a piece of it, or rather a huge sum to himself.

He sends an experasted dark glare at the stubborn alien and folds. “Fine. If you help me… I’ll design your superhero suit.”

Mon-El grins, flashing his teeth as his hands close into a fist in a victorious pose. “Like Kara’s?”

Winn rolls his eyes and checks his watch. “Yeah, no. Nice try.”

“Okay, so what is this project about? More tests??”

 

* * *

 

Turns out all his stout human ally wants is to keep an eye and ear on Supergirl and her human companion while informing him on their activities so to speak. It sounds far too simple and what is a dating pool? Whatever it is, a lot of people seems to be in on this pool thing. 

When the Martian marches out of the open-space command room with that scary redhead agent hot on his heels, Mon-El slink up towards the ramrod straight female agent concentrating at the screen monitor in front of her. He lets his hands rest on the table and plasters on a charming smile, one that have all wonderful ladies falling for.

“Hello beautiful.”

She doesn’t greet him back or turns her head. Feeling a bit miffed, he tries again. This time, he grabs the next unoccupied chair and hops into the seat, sliding his into hers deliberately. In doing so, he spies her name tag and tilts his head sideways. Vasquez.

“Hey pretty, how about you and I go out and smell the roses?”

He receives a loud snort but the noise doesn’t come from her. Instead, the half-strangled wheeze-like cough belongs to the usually unfazed agent who is sitting on the opposite side. 

“Hey man, Vasquez doesn’t do men. She’s all hoorah for sexy ladies,” the agent with a shaved head half coughs-sputters- harshly into his fist.

Understanding dawns upon his expression and realizing the stoic agent has no interest in interacting with him, Mon-El scoots his free-wheeling chair across the room to where the other agent sat. “So, what is a dating pool and how can I get into it?”

The agent pauses in his work, resting his fingers on the smooth ridgeless squares of a black rectangular pad with white different characters in front of him. He leans forward and reads the man’s tag - Demos.

“It’s just an ongoing wager going around here, and pretty much anyone can join in on the fun,”  the agent Demos explains. “Who told you?”

Mon-El beams in excitement. “Supergirl’s friend did and he gave me my first mission.”

“Oh yeah, and what is that?”

His lips stretch wide as he spills, “Only if you don’t tell anyone. No one else is supposed to know. I am to embark on an espionage with Kara and her lady friend.”

Demos chuckles and gives him a punch on his bicep, before going back to typing. “Good luck with that. They’ve been dancing around each other for months, and still there’s no sign of any progress.”

There’s a series of footsteps and chatter leading back to the command center. Demos glances to the right and his face blanches. “Uh-oh. Boss’s coming. Talk later, man.”

 

* * *

 

**_Hey darling, I’m almost done with meetings. Is dinner still on?_ **

Lena, hi! Yes, of course. I would never dream of cancelling on you.

**_Alright. I’m thinking of trying out the new paella place across 5th Ave. If it’s not suitable to your palette, we could always do Thai at Soho._ **

I’m up for trying anything new. *wink emoji*

So long as you’re not going to force feed me kale

Ever again.

 

“Kara.”

 

**_Hehe. It doesn’t hurt to try._ **

You wound me, Lee.... *pout emoji*

**_Kara, sweetie. Would it kill you to eat some healthy greens?_ **

Yesyesyes. Greens are evil.

 

“Earth to Kara...”

 

“Supergirl.” Her ears catch the monotone tone coming from her left. She hums in acknowledgement as her fingers dance delicately across her phone. She has hit her max limit on breaking phones for this month.

 

**_< typing…>_ **

 

Kara looks up to Alex squinting intently at her screen as though she was trying to decipher the upside-down text messages. Her forehead crinkles at the thought and moves her phone away. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Alex’s lips quirk up in the corner so very slightly and repeats, “We’re still on for sister’s night, right? I could use some chocolate therapy right about now a-”

 

_ Ping! _

Kara fumbles for the phone haphazardly and looks down at the anticipated response.

 

**_Sometimes, Kara, you make it sound like they’re your kryptonite. Que sera sera… I will have Tony pick you up at seven._ **

Can’t wait!!!! See you :):)

 

“Oh no, it’s tonight?? I was sure it was scheduled for tomorrow,” Kara falls crestfallen and her hand goes up to push her glasses up, only realising midway that she’s not wearing any. Alex nods while her side leans against the command hub. “Well it is, I just thought since we’re both free for the night… and Maggie is working late on a case,” Alex trails off. “...Unless you have something else on tonight.”

Her smile grow wider and Kara rattles off on full throttle. “Yeah, I’m having dinner with Lena at the new paella place she found downtown at seven.”

“Uh Kara, it’s a quarter to seven,” Winn jumps in.

“Shoot. I-I have to go,” she whirls around, tucking her phone back into the inseam of her boot. 

“Have fun with your date,” Alex comments airily.

She giggles at the word structure and shakes her head vehemently. “W-What?? We’re not dating. Friends have dinner.” She takes a step back as her head bobs up and down emphatically, “I lunch with Lucy, James, and even Winn. That’s what friends do.”

Another two steps backwards while her hands gesture at her sister accusingly, “I even lunch out with you at- at Noonan’s.”

Alex just smiles at her in that same frustrating undecipherable look. “Not everyday.”

_ Lena dating her… that would be so, so nice. The way she walks with hips swaying in a tantalizing, hypnotic motion, those very kissable plump lips smacking… _

Kara turns on her heel and waves goodbye to everyone, before hightailing out with reddening cheeks.

 

* * *

 

Winn waits about three seconds before he grins toothily, “You know, I’m kinda  _ not _ surprised she canceled sister’s night for Lena.” He wiggles his fingers in a come-hither motion. “Pay up, Alex.”

With a scowl settling across her darkening expression, the redhead takes out her wallet and pulls out a couple of bills, tossing them into his greedy paws.

“I’m only paying you half.”

“What!? No, you owe me thirty.”

Alex smirks in response with both hands raised in the air signaling air-quotes. “Mhmm but you heard what Kara said. It’s not a date.”

“Yet!”

Alex nods with a cheeky wink before walking backwards towards the labs. “Alright Schott. You find me proof that they’re having a dinner date and I’ll pay the other half.” She pivots on the spot with a smug grin in place, before turning into another hallway.

He growls and turns back to the monitor in front of him.  _ Fine. I’ll show you fat, photographic proof. _

_ <<No hacking into the restaurant’s security cameras, Agent Schott. Kindly refrain from using government resources for illicit activities.>> _ J’onn’s grave voice rumbles in his mind, derailing him off the tracks.

_ I hate you, Alex. Gahhh. _

Returning to his active algorithms running searches for translating and decoding Coluans texts found in Cuba, Winn taps his fingers against the desk impatiently while he glances around the hub to find one Daxamite chatting up another female blushing agent nearby.

With a side glance at the Director’s back facing him, he leans fully into the back of his ergonomic chair and whispers, “Psssstt!”

“Psssstt! Mon-El. Hey!”

That damn Daxamite is far too busy charming the pants off Agent Kliney. Scowling, Winn picks up a pen and scrawls a message on a notepad, before tearing it at the seams. He crumples the note into a ball and hurls it hard towards Mon-El.

It bounces harmlessly at the Daxamite’s side temple before falling to the ground. Mon-El stops his chattering and frowns at the balled-up note. He bends down, scoops it up while his eyes dart around the bustling control room with confusion. He clears his throat and waves the crumpled ball around with a charmed smile. “Hey, did anyone drop this?” He turns to the next seated agent and asks, “Is this yours?” 

Winn slaps both his hands against his cheeks and groans internally all the while resisting the urge to bang his head against the keyboard.

_ Oh sweet mercy, he’s so much worse than Kara. _

 

* * *

 

The restaurant sits at the corner of the main street. It bustles noisily with diners, tastefully decorated with red bricked walls on alternate sides and low hanging lights. Upon a single glance, the maitre d’ leads the pair to a private booth that could easily sit six.  _ This is not a date _ , Kara reminds herself for the hundredth time. Yet she can’t help wishing it to be true.  _ Friends do this all the time.  _ Her stomach rumbles quietly while her hands fidget with the skirt of her dress. It was a dress with a crocheted layer in royal blue fitted with a thin silver belt that matches well with her simple tear earrings. 

“I can’t believe we’ve gotten invitations to Paulo’s new joint,” Kara exclaims with a smile.

“She said with wonder in her voice.” Lena teases with ease, her dark red lipstick contrasts beautifully with the cream of her impeccable skin and dark eyeliner. Dressed in a figure hugging magenta dress with a string of grey freshwater pearls and black satin pumps, Lena Luthor looked every inch like a powerhouse CEO. 

Kara tries hard not to stare at the dipping cleavage, faltering slightly whenever her eye follows the slight shift of pearls resting against her collarbone. Adjusting her glasses for the fourth time, she says in awe. “Paulo’s grandkids have magical hands in revamping their interior furnishings.”

_ Eyes up front, Zor-El. _

Lena nods in approval as she picks up the menu. “They certainly did it justice. What do you feel like having?”

Kara immediately brings the menu up to her sight line to find a whole ton of various choices staring back.  _ Everything. Oh no. _

“Uhmm… I’m going with the Paella de Cerdo, maybe three Calamarcitos, and a chocolate cake. Oh Lena, they have churros!”

She hears gentle chortling from the other end and lowers the menu down to see her dining companion openly laughing. She puts on a pouting frown. “What? I like churros.”

“Are you sure those are enough to satiate you, Kara?  __

She squints at the implication behind. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Lena smiles widely, “Your stomach, darling, has been grumbling ever since I picked you up.”

Kara blushes deeply. “O-Oh… well if y-you don’t mind…”

“I certainly don’t, darling. I much rather prefer to keep my hero well-fed. It’s the very least I can do.”

 

Whoosh!

 

A sudden gust of air and warmth enters her side. Kara hears shrill giggling next to her left and her body leans away from the intrusion. Sitting diagonally across from her and next to Lena was Mon-El of all people. She glances over to Lena who looks just as surprised to see the other pair. The Daxamite grins at both of them and turns to Lena. “Hello beautiful,” he greets with open arms.

Lena, being Lena, just smiles and raises up her right hand, deftly avoiding the greeting hug. “Ah, Mike of the Interns. It’s nice to meet you again.”

Kara narrows her eyes at his sudden appearance with question lighting up her expression. “What are you doing here?”

Mon-El points to the table and answers excitedly, “Oh this? I’m on a date.” His hands gesture wildly at Eve and nearly knocking the empty wine glasses over. If it wasn’t for her quick reflexes, they’d be glass shards all over the white clothed table and on Lena’s person. “We’re dating.”

“At the same restaurant I just told Alex about?!”

Mon-El nods his head vigorously, “Yeah, what a coincidence right? It seems like a good place to have dinner.”

Lena interrupts with an arched brow, “There is no such thing as coincidence although I’m a little curious on how you got an invitation. After all, tonight is the premiere event for exclusive elites.”

It is then when Eve Teschmacher giggles uncontrollably, touching Kara’s bicep. “Oh isn’t he lovely? I can’t believe we’re doing this. He just called me up to meet him here and hey, whaddya know we’re on a double date.”

Kara stares back flabbergasted in shock when Eve’s arms slither up to her bicep, wrapping at her shoulders. The canvas of her mind becomes blank at the overwhelming amount of touch from her colleague. “Uhh… We’re not… This isn’t-”

She leans furtively towards the wall as her brain scrambles to come up with a rational statement.  _ When did Eve turn into an overgrown cuddly bear?? _

“Mmm, yummy. You have very tight muscles.”

Eve grows nearer and her arms seem to lengthen across the width of the booth seat to Kara’s mounting panic. Half of her wants to shoot out of the booth seat where the table obstructs her from Lena all the while trapping her between this Eve imposter and the wall. The other half yearns to laser cut the table, grab Lena, and fly away. But she can’t. Lena doesn’t know she’s Supergirl, and telling her would paint a much bigger threat on her back. As if her name doesn’t already hold the burden.

Kara hears a soft hiss and turns to find a bluish forked tongue flickering out of Eve’s pink balmed lips whilst Mon-El frowns and jabs at the laminated sheet. “The black ink pasta… Do they remove the ink out from those things you write with?”

“Your ton-tongue is very blue,” splutters a pink-faced Kara. “I-I didn’t know you’re an alien, uhm Lena, d-did you know Eve is an alien?”

The mass of blonde curls swing from left to right as ‘Eve’ giggles, “My name isn’t Eve.” She points to her getup, “You weren’t supposed to see that. Hang on, I think the system glitched again. It has already happened thrice this month. Makes it a bit ch-challenging to keep a job.”

Her hand reaches to the back of her ear and Kara hears an audible humming for a few seconds and then a click snaps into place. It was like the appearance of Eve Teschmacher melted to give form to a scaly pink-skinned alien with blue irises that look very similar to fish or octopus, and a small red dorsal fin on top of their scalp.

 

Thunk!

 

“Kara!’

She wasn’t even aware of the loud crack or of falling brick and cement dust until Lena catches her attention by reaching over the table and covers her hand. Her slender fingers trace soothing circles while her worried gaze has her enraptured more than the other alien sitting next to her. “Are you quite alright? Do you want to go?”

The alien has turned back towards Kara with confusion in its expression. “Oh my. I thought people’s buildings are made out of sterner stuff.” Its blue eyes blink twice at the sizable dent behind Kara’s back, before its lopsided lips quirk to what looks like a smile and her left hand extends upwards to Kara. “They call me Dolly, I think that’s what my Earth name card says.”

Mon-El chimes in with his fingers mimicking an invisible knob. “Babe, I think it’s the other way.”

“Oh is it? Lemme turn this here, and aha! That should do it,” Dolly grins in full Teschmacher mode. “I hope I didn’t frighten you.” She giggles for the ninth time. Kara pushes her glasses up to the highest ridge as she falters, glancing at Lena who returns the alarmed gesture by squeezing their clasped hands resting on the table. She turns to Dolly and Mike with a cordial smile in place. Her back straightens slightly and Kara can hear the rapid beating of her heart thumping loudly despite the cool facade she portrays. 

“It’s very nice to meet you, Dolly and Mike. Congratulations to you both. We are very happy to hear about your interspecies dating, but if you both wouldn’t mind, Kara and I would like to be excused for a short moment.” Lena pauses to bring Kara’s clasped hand towards her and kisses her knuckles. 

“Powder our noses,” Kara adds, fumbling for her sling bag.

Dolly claps her hands excitedly and looks at Mon-El, “I know what that means. Oh oh, of course. Here, just let me scoot out and we'll both see you soon?”

She barely waits for Lena to exit her side of the booth, before tugging her away towards the front doors, as Lena answers charmingly, “Mmm yes, we’ll be right back!”

 

* * *

 

Are you ladies under attack?

**_No, but you have pissed off the wrong ship._ **

Is there not a hacker on the loose sending me malware viruses from your servers?

**_The only hacker is you, Schott. Get your alien underlings under control._ **

I don’t have alien minions

That would be superbly cool though.

**_Really? Then please enlighten me why I was rudely woken up at 0300 by Lena telling me to rework two days of meetings, conference calls and postpone the oversight tour just so she can spend time comforting a very traumatized Catco reporter??!! *angry emojis*_ **

………….

It wasn’t me.

**_[insert screen capture of Cocina Del Mar footage, timestamp 00:19:38:44]_ **

**_[insert screen capture of Cocina Del Mar footage, timestamp 00:19:53:05]_ **

You hacked into the restaurant’s cams!??!! @.@

What is wrong with you?

**_After being rudely woken up by several missed calls from a frantic boss and Kara rambling away on the other end, I had to investigate. Because everything went swimmingly well until your DEO buddy showed up. *explosion bomb emojis*_ **

You orchestrated their dinner plans…

And fyi, that dude is no buddy of mine.

**_I merely suggested the point of venue and Miss Luthor did the rest. My hands are clean, Schott. You, on the other hand, have much explainings to do. Imagine my sheer embarrassment when I had a similar conversation with the real Eve Teschmacher who had no inkling to what or who I was referring to!!!!_ **

 

**Training Room, DEO Headquarters**

News spread around the headquarters like a rampant wildfire all morning, and just to add another layer of craziness, Jess has sent him a frustratingly annoying malware that keeps duplicating itself whenever he attempts to locate the first few corrupted files. By the time Winn had finally cracked the code, it was already noon. A string of whistling accompanies the jaunty footsteps that follow. Dressed with a pair of new shades with his lips twisting into a half smirk, Mon-El swaggers down the bustling DEO hallway completely unaware of Winn’s annoyance growing by the second. He scoots out of his workstation and easily intercepts the flirting Daxamite with one firm grip. He drags Mon-El into the empty lockers room before spinning around with a murderous glare (if looks could kill). 

“What the HELL were you thinking?! Gate-crashing wasn't part of any plans!”

Mon-El rocks on the back of his heels and looks down at him with an air of nonchalance. “You said to spy on them and the place was getting a bit crowded and noisy, so we moved tables to gain a better view.”

“Yeah, sure. But you didn't have to sit right next to them!” Winn does a little jump on the spot.

Mon-El replies with confusion written in his expression at the shorter human’s antics. “How was I supposed to watch them then?”


	2. The Plan Unfolds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shamelessly stealing the weed cookies scene from Grey’s Anatomy. Funniest episode ever! Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think we have been introduced to Pam visually. So for this, I imagined her to be the playful yet professional Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds.

**Lower Level Laboratories, DEO Headquarters**

“So I was thinking… do game night sessions usually occur at Kara’s apartment?”

“Yep. Kara’s loft has the widest space so we usually gather there,” Winn looks up from the soldering iron. “Are you planning something?”

“And what are the games Kara usually picks?” Lena asks while her eyes squint through the microscopic lens at parts of the prototype canister they are currently working on.

“Monopoly, Settlers of Catan, Taboo, Charades, SORRY, Trivia Pursuit,” Winn ticks off the names with his fingers.

“Soo… it would be in my best interest to bring a board game with similar play styles to the ones just mentioned. If we increase the radiation level output, the container should still be able to withhold the strength and not drain the wearer.” Lena continues nonchalantly as though they’re discussing the weather.

Winn picks up his pad and scans through the numerous reports, nodding as his eyes dart between the previous and most recent testings. “Looks about right but we would have to test the formula. By the way, it’s unnecessary to bring a board game. Kara has most of the board games except Settlers of course. You could even show up with bags of food and scotch if you want to pacify Alex. I’d bring my PS4 along sometimes, but with Kara’s over-enthusiasm, uh… well you know how excitable-” Winn gestures with his pad and plants a grin, before turning away in panic. 

_ Does Lena know Kara dons the cape? Maybe it’s best not mentioning how many times Kara has broken my controllers during Mario Kart rounds.  _

Speak of the devil, the lab door hisses open and in enters Supergirl with windblown hair as she munches on a cookie while the other hand balances boxes of cookies with the other. “I bring gifts,” Supergirl announces with a breathtaking smile. 

“Thank you Supergirl,” Winn moves over to take the first box of proffered cookies and sniffs at the freshly baked goods. “This smells heavenly. Where did ya get these from?”

“Brian opened a new bakery store just around the corner, and he gave me cookies as a thank you on behalf of the alien community. Cookie for you, Miss Luthor?”

Lena looks up from the screen monitor with a gracious smile. In the midst of his fingers blindly fumbling for a cookie from the tin box, Winn notices the way Lena’s eyebrow raises a centimeter or two, lined with something between worry and concern and her eyes twinkle in amusement as if she knows something he doesn't. Her eyes are the colour of the forest after it rains. The kind of green that brings hope and life no matter what has transpired.

He pulls out a cookie and bites half, noting the silvery blue frosting jelly packed inside of the ginger crust. All the while Lena saunters forward in her heels with a distinctive sway of her hips he hasn’t picked up till now. Of an involuntary muscle twitching at the corner of Kara’s right eye or the odd and sudden display of her Adam’s apple bobbing.

An uncomfortable shiver runs down Winn’s spine, like a tingle of electricity coursing through the closed enclosed space. He’s not sure if the duo is even aware of the crackle in the atmosphere or that the ambience has shifted to something more intimate. He feels like a voyeur, a witness watching firecrackers about to ignite and shoot off in different directions. Time seemed to have taken a pause as the charged air electrifies every step Lena takes. She comes to a stop in front of Supergirl, arm still extended with the ginger cookie held by her thumb and index finger. With a slight smile, the CEO’s head tilts left slightly. Her lips move and then within the next minute, both pairs of cerulean blues and emerald greens land upon his bodily presence. It is only then that he realizes she’s been calling his name.

“...hott, if you could kindly pass me the forceps?”

_ Forceps? What do you need them for?? _

Winn hurries to place the tin box on his side of his labstation, not before cramming the other half into his mouth and dusting the runaway crumbs off his hands. He plucks the cool thin metal forceps from its resting spot and makes his way over, narrowly avoiding the stool tucked underneath the table.

She takes it from his open palm and steps around the confused superheroine with clear instruction. “Hold still, Supergirl. I think you’ve brought along a stray visitor.”

Lena brushes some of the blonde tresses away and Winn notices an odd shaped gossamer white coating stuck near the cape clasp. “Is that…” Winn begins with a slight frown when the strange goo refuses to budge despite the consistent expert maneuvering by Lena.

“I think this little guy might have escaped the decontamination scrub team,” Lena says with a hum to Supergirl’s whine. “I was in there for four hours straight. Are you telling me that there are still alien tissue on me?”

Her hand holding the forgotten cookie moves upward towards her lips. She doesn’t get very far when Lena intercepts the telegraphed motion and leans right into Supergirl’s personal space, sneaking in for a bite. Supergirl freezes in place by the sudden action, unaware of Winn’s eyes growing wider by the comical sight unfolding before him. Lena puts one hand on her hip and shifts her weight as she thoughtfully chews. “Interesting flavour. I do taste a bit of vodka. Hmmm, let’s see if fire will do the trick.”

“Uhm… Miss Luthor,” Supergirl begins to fidget in place as a flight response to the brunette’s words.

“A blow torch, if you would. Agent Schott,” Lena directs as she continues to inspect the alien substance.

Once the mini blow torch is handed to her by an uncharacteristically silent Winn, does Supergirl emit a slight gasp at the sudden heat and then relaxing for a fraction of a second at Lena’s soothing words. “Easy. Almost done,” she says kindly. 

“Container.”

She easily peels off the pliable form with forceps, and drops it into the offered container. Lena doesn’t step away from Kara as Winn half expects her to. Instead she chooses to inspect the heavy material of the cape, slowly turning it over to check the underside. She does the same for the other side, one hand gliding to Supergirl’s back. Cogs turn in his head and it’s not the first time the thought recurs. 

What if Lena Luthor does know about Supergirl’s true identity?

He can see the way Kara’s clear cerulean blue eyes give way to a hint of panic, her frantic side eying Lena whilst glaring at him to do something. But what is he supposed to do? Distract a genius who can build a functioning Kryptonite dampener in two hours, but cannot see her best friend who happens to be a golden retriever equivalent of a person with an enormous appetite that could feed an army?

“These cookies are really good. You know if Kara was here, she would have devoured three boxes by herself…” Winn rambles on while chewing on the cookie. Whatever Brian put in these, are just so addictive. Hell, he could even eat the whole box.

_ Where did that thought come from? _

He looks down with an indulgent smile and pats his stomach.  _ Imma be soo fat...    _

As though sensing a glare being thrown at his direction, Winn continues while nodding at Supergirl still balancing the many boxes of cookies in one hand while the other is occupied by Lena who has been handing Supergirl a rolled-up toolkit. “You might even have to fight for your share, Supergirl. Hell hath no fury when that girl is hungry.”

Lena pauses her inspection and straightens up. “Speaking of our mutual friend, you should come to game night, Supergirl. You of all people, should use some down time to recharge.”

He giggles at the thought and his arms flail around as he turns. “Whoa. Okay, don’t mind me. I’m just gonna sit here and wait for the room to stop spinning.” Winn pulls the stool out and awkwardly straddles it, resting his forehead against the cold smoothness.

 

* * *

 

“Uhm I… I...” The heroine’s eyes glance at the source of the noise and Lena follows with a slight frown gracing her facial features. “Is he alright?” Supergirl questions as she makes her way to deposit the toolkit and the rest of the boxes on a nearby workstation.

“I should think so,” Lena replies as she follows behind. She uncovers the cylindrical container and shakes it gently. Her brow furrows further at the lack of sound. She pulls out several tissues and places them on the table to serve as a placemat, before emptying its content.

Lena makes a sound and breaks one of the remaining cookies in half. There is an odd silvery bluish congealed jelly inside the cookie. She picks up the tin cylinder and turns it over. Other than the lovely generic label, there is no nutritional information pasted over the label.

“What is it?”

“I don’t think Brian owns a bakery store, Supergirl. These are clearly homemade,” Lena comments, pointing at the lack of evidence. “None of the cookies would have made it past National City’s Agriculture Unit. There is no information on what ingredients were used or its nutritional contents if there are any at all.”

Supergirl - Kara - shakes her head and crosses her arms in retaliation. “He gave me an obscene number of tins packed into giant shopper bags. He wasn’t lying, Lena.”

Cogs whirl and turn in her head as Lena looks down at a snoring Agent Schott slumped on the desk, and then the night before events hit her hard. She turns to Kara, “How can you be sure that the alien you met with was Brian?”

The crinkle on Kara’s forehead grows at her hypothesis. She prods further with suspicion. “Meaning? I saw him with my own two eyes.”

_ Did you just so happen to forget the strange double date, Kara? Or did you think I was going to fall for the glasses disguise trick ‘I’m being Supergirl’!? _

“Don’t eat that!” 

There is a hurried sound of clacking charging at them. Her eyes and her mouth are frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise to find a plump lady dressed in a fashionable dress with blazer in bright pink open-toe pumps flinging the offending piece of cookie out from her hand.

“Are you dears quite alright? Are you experiencing any symptoms of slurred speech, clumsiness, or nausea?” The office lady dusts her hands together with a little overzealous. “Please forgive my directness. There... seems to be a sudden influx of foreign cookie contamination that might have bypassed our security clearances.” 

She stops to glare at a sheepish Kara who looks to be inching towards the doors. “I will deal with you later, Supergirl. You and I will be filling in some forms-”

“Uhm… I think I hear sirens. Excuse me.”

In the next instant, Supergirl’s gone with only a whirlwind of papers flying everywhere as evidence. 

The shorter blonde turns towards Lena with a gentle smile mixed of sympathy and annoyance. “Some days I feel like the only babysitter in charge of clueless alien refugees and troublemaking agents. I’m very sorry to have inconvenienced you, Miss Luthor. You have been a great help to us. What with switching out the isotope at the very last minute. That was very brave of you. Oh where are my manners?” She raises her right hand towards the youngest Luthor. “My name is Pamela, but feel free to call me Pam. I’m from the Human Resources department.” 

“Did you mention foreign substances?” Lena interjects with a handshake. “Because I believe they’ve been injected with concentrated amounts of vodka. It explains the intoxicated symptoms as one normally would when consumed with too much alcohol.”

“Right as rain. Amazing,” Maggie enters with a file of reports that she hands over to Lena. “We ran the congealed substance through a battery of tests. The lab techs have concluded that it’s not vodka but high traces of moonshine. The effects should wear off eventually, depending on how much one consumes.”

Maggie picks up the unnamed containers with curiosity. “Some of them are already empty.” She stops and glances at the unconscious agent knocked out, before turning to Pam and Lena. “I’m gonna assume Supergirl stopped by and left urgently?” She deduces from the haphazard trail of papers on the floor.

At Lena’s confirmation, Maggie whistles “I am glad I didn’t try these. Half of the cohort at the station have been sent home for inebriation, not to mention Catco and the other surrounding buildings in the same block have been compromised. Thank the stars your company is a good half an hour drive away.”

She pokes hard at Winn’s cheek who lets out a loud snore in response. Maggie’s grin widens akin to a cat that ate the canary. “Oh this is fantastic.” She pulls out her phone and snaps a picture of Winn drooling, before turning around upon the sound of a disgruntled vocal noise. 

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to blackmail him.”

“Yet.”

“Yet…,” Maggie reluctantly acknowledges Pam and then turns to Lena with a more somber expression. 

“We have a more serious problem. There has been a couple of reports made by random citizens complaining their identity have been recently misused. This is the most recent identity the perp has used. We have yet to discover its real identity and motive.”

Lena takes the proffered picture and stares hard at the grainy surveillance capture. “I think I could provide you with a description of the alien’s identity.”

“Are you able to confirm the species of the alien?” Maggie interrupts.

Lena returns the file. “Negative. It was a fraction of a second. I only saw its side profile but I did remember scaly ridges on the side of its neck if that helps.”

“Right-o. Scales,” Maggie mumbles to herself as she pens the detail down. 

She snaps her fingers at an exasperated Pam. “By the way, I need to talk to your latest resident Daxamite. Where is he?”

 

* * *

 

**Somewhere in National City’s rural areas...**

A man shuffles through the apartment aimlessly, bypassing the table of what appears to be household bills. He chances a glance at his partner-in-crime fiddling with a dial as she lies on a hammock. On closer inspection, the ‘letters’ are a jumble of various correspondence and envelopes filled with different identity cards. 

He ambles forward while munching on a bunch of cookies she baked for him. “They taste fine but I don’t feel any different,” he complains.

The crimson mohawk figure leans up while he bends down for a peck on the lips. “What about now?”

_ Maybe it stems from skin contact?  _

He feels as though he was turned inside out like some sort of outer-body experience. Just from her touch alone, the ridges on her skin nuzzles against his higher thinking. He no longer feels as though he is standing on solid ground but floating amongst the night skies. She lets loose a soft giggle and he feels swept away in this moment with his girl. 

“Better. Much better.”

“Yeah. How do you feel, baby?

“Like I just drank fifteen pints,” the brunet slurs.

A forked tongue flickers out from underneath. A plan is evolving from the original idea, but what a beautiful plan it will be. 

The crux of how well their plan will work lies solely in timing. 

She fiddles with the dial once more and the illusion gives way to the mirror reflection of the intoxicated Daxamite slumping to the ground.

“Good boy. Sleep tight. I’ll be back soon,” she giggles again and climbs out of the hammock, caressing that beautiful jawbone. She grabs a set of keys from the table and walks out with a slick smile.

 

_ If it works on you, baby, then she doesn’t stand a chance. _


	3. The Plan Gets Hijacked

A series of knocks startles the crap out of Kara. She lowers her glasses, squinting through the white panel door to find Mon-El standing with both hands in his denim pockets. She levitates from the couch and moves towards the source with one hand reaching for the brass knob. Her barefoot feet touch the ground gently just as her hand carefully twists the knob anti-clockwise. He greets her with an overly cheerful smile and walks past her without waiting for an invitation.

_ Come right in _ , Kara scowls inwardly, rolling her eyes and shuts the door.

“Such a lovely home you’ve got here,” the Daxamite says as he checks out the tiny souvenirs on the edges of her bookshelf.

“You’ve been here before. What did you do this time?” Kara deadpans as she follows behind, rearranging the miniature collection of Disney’s figurines.

He whirls around with a bright grin and shrugs, moving backwards to the couch. “Nothing. Tonight this Han doesn’t want to fly Solo.”

He throws himself on the same couch she was previously residing. Her tongue clucks against the roof of her mouth as she plants herself at the side of the couch armrest. “Liar. You’re hiding from Detective Sawyer.”

“Why would I enshroud- Who is this Saw year again?”

Kara eyes him from the other end of the couch before settling on the opposite side. Her fingers find purchase of the corner of the throwover pillow lying beside her. “Sawyer from NCPD. They’re combing the streets for you and your disguised stealing girlfriend-thief.” She throws her hands up in annoyance. “Where did you even meet her?”

He scratches the back of his neck and ceases to look at her. “Uhh… In a bar.”

“Rao! Tudjinka bl kararehe. I covered for you-” Her fist close onto the pillow. “and instead of an apology-” A hard whack rattles his teeth while color blooms near his jawline. “What do I get in return!?” There’s the sound of fabric tearing at its seams and cotton wool fluffs into sight. She hits again, easily dodging his hands. “An appointment with Pam and so many forms!” The rim of her eyes are bloodshot red with spider tendrils creeping above her skin. Helluva, she looks ready to kill. 

“You.” 

_ Whack. _

“Ruined.” 

_ Whack.  _

“My.” 

_ Whomp. _

“Perfect.” 

_ Whomp.  _

“Record.”

She smashes the abused pillow across Mon-El’s face with well-placed precision and he yelps, clutching his cheeks while his eyes are blown wide in horror. “Oww! That was hurtful. You’re such a meanie.”

Without breaking a sweat, Kara stares him down with a doubting suspicion radiating from her. This wouldn’t work if she starts putting two and two together, and ‘Mon-El’ just knows he needs to pull it off convincingly.

He shuffles on his bum towards her, closing the gap until a couple of inches is left. In an uncharacteristic manly behavior, he burrows his face into her shoulder, grovelling apologies all the while a silvery gel slithers onto Kara’s unblemished skin and disappear into the pores of her skin. Kara gasps and shuts her eyes closed.

“Oh.”

He rubs her bare forearm in a soothing manner as he meekly apologies, “I’m sorry for letting you down. I’ll be better. Please forgive me?”

Kara’s eyes shoot wide open with slightly darker hues. Her mouth feels full of sawdust and her brain feels disconnected as though she had too much of that rum. But that can’t be… 

She hasn’t drank a lick of those stuff. So why does everything feel loopy like the world is spinning like a top?

She squints at Mon-El. Something weird is going on but she can’t quite place a finger on it.

_ Why is he here?  _

She looks down at her hands and then hears odd discombobulating noises. She turns and sees him fiddling with an odd circular dial resting just under the collar of his shirt.

“Whaa iz fhat?”

The pronunciation rolls and slurs from her lips, her tongue feels swollen. She tries again and still she can’t get the words right. Kara touches her lips. No, they’re not swollen.

The strange good floating feeling returns and her body feels weightless like helium. She lets out a loose giggle, the burden of being tied down with obligations and expectancies evaporates. It’s just her and Mon-El sitting together. A Kryptonian and a Daxamite in an alien world.

He giggles, eyes shining in mirth. “You’re floating. Should have known you’re a Super.”

She looks down with a smile, and does a somersault in the air. They giggle and Mon-El says, “The day is still young. You and I will have so much fun together.”

 

* * *

 

This isn’t how Lena expects her evening to pan out as she exits from her town car and walks across the park, bypassing the yellow tape that the NCPD has used to cordoned an area off from the public. Detective Sawyer waves her over and Lena acquises with a slight smile. “Second time in a day, Detective. I had thought this would be Agent Danvers’ area of expertise considering the situation.”

“Careful now, Luthor. Your sweetness is showing. One might think you care about people more than your best interests. The DEO’s best agents are currently indisposed thanks to those pesky cookies, and I called you in because besides Danvers,” Sawyer jerks her head to the side with a smug smile in place. “You’re also the next person in line that could get Little Danvers to listen.”

Lena follows the shorter woman down towards the edge of green grass that meet the rocky edges of the lake. Her brain stops working for a few seconds as she scrambles to process what she has just witnessed. Her best friend is frolicking in the lake. 

Wait. 

No, her barefoot toes are touching the tips of the still waters. Supergirl is wearing a Kara Danvers outfit and levitate-dancing over the lake, her feet splashing the stillness as she twirls around.

Loss for words, Lena splutters. “How is this even possible? She was fine in the afternoon.”

“I don’t even know how this is my life,” Maggie quips and then claps her shoulder. “Best of luck, Luthor. Work quickly. The public are getting curiouser by the minute. I’ll see if I can get Pam to have a DEO-issue transport ready for our friend.”

Lena turns back to the problem at hand and watches the smoothness of Kara dancing above the waters. So this is what Supergirl does when she’s high because as the sun begins to set, Kara is fearless as Supergirl is surrounded in the eyes of the public. She paints sunsets the same pink color as her lips, softer than the grass blades she ties between her teeth and whistles with. Her hair is golden like the sun and bleached at the ends like its rays. She sings with the tide’s tantalizing tongues, her hums like the sea breeze, her voice like the crickets in the evening and the blue birds in the morning.

Then comes the next dilemma… whose name to use to gain the blonde’s attention - Kara or Supergirl? She can’t call for Supergirl as the superheroine isn’t wearing her suit and yet, she can’t really call for Kara because humans cannot, do not ‘walk-on-water.’

Letting out a tired sigh, Lena moves closer to the edge whilst taking care not to step on any uneven rocky surfaces. It’s a blessing in disguise that Kara still has her super powers intact which means she could whisper and Kara in turn could hear her perfectly. “Kara darling, what in heavens possessed you to fly without your suit?”

Kara spins around and shouts, “Lena!”

She just wants to have one good night to spend with Kara and her friends. Instead of the supposed planned game night, she has to deal with a super intoxicated heroine alone. Detective Sawyer has left her to do the dirty work.

_ And I thought handling a drunk Kara was challenging. This is on a whole new level. _

Lena raises a hand and makes a ‘come-hither’ motion with a perfectly raised eyebrow to follow suit. Her hand dips into her purse slowly as she waits for Kara to glide over. Her patient smile doesn’t waver, not even when Kara has reached the shoreline. Her forearm darts out and her hand finds purchase of Kara’s shirt collar while the other winds around the blonde’s back as if she was enveloping Kara in a tight hug. She tugs the confused superheroine out of the lake and back onto solid ground.

“Lena?”

Right on cue, a nondescript black van reverses into her line of sight and the back doors open to reveal Detective Sawyer sitting next to the empty gurney with a grin. “I see you got Little Danvers back on dry land. Good job Luthor.”

“No thanks to you,” Lena grouches, arms locked tight around the wayward heroine. 

“Well get her over here. Pam’s expecting us at the DEO.”

Lena’s not sure at which point caused Kara to start struggling in her arms. Her closed fist that was once rubbing circles on the blonde’s back, loosens just a little, revealing the small plastic syringe she’d taken out of her purse. She initially has no intention of following through but they are out in the open. It was a precautionary measure, just in case Kara had other ideas.

“Kara, you need to calm down.” She could hear Sawyer trying to calm the heroine down and failing.

“No. I’m not going back there,” Kara shakes her head so violently that Lena nearly drops the syringe. Her resolve doubles in effort as she is forced to loosen her hold on the panicking best friend. Her right hand slowly releases the blonde’s shirt and flatten her palm over Kara’s heaving chest.

“Shh… We don’t have to return to the DEO. We can go back to my place. Is that alright, darling?” 

Her thumb finds the flat head of the syringe pump, her left hand poised to sink the tiny kryptonite needle into the Kryptonian’s steely flesh. At Kara’s hesitant nod, Lena keeps a steady hand on the blonde while Sawyer helps Kara onto the gurney. She climbs in after Kara and situates herself opposite of the detective who swings the doors shut with a loud thud.

“To Luthor’s lair it is,” Sawyer bangs her fist against the removable separation panel.

Kara abruptly shoots up and turns to Lena with her wide blue eyes. In moments like these, Lena swears looking into those mesmerizing eyes is like looking through a fragile piece of turquoise sea glass, lying in the sand glistening in the sunlight. 

“Will there be bats? A bat bit me once in the cave. It was horrible.”

Lena quirks an amused smile and caresses Kara’s chin, ignoring the detective’s faux gagging motions. 

“Of course not, sweetheart. You’ve been there before, remember?”

“So potstickers and Netflix?”

“You surprised me, Little Danvers. Didn’t know you’ve got game,” Sawyer winks down at Kara lying down with her crinkle fully active. “Care to share how many nightcaps you’ve had?”

As soon as Kara opens her mouth, Lena claps one hand over her mouth. “Don’t answer that.”

“Mmff- Sseeh-” The muffled noises change to a groan as Lena jabs the green-tinged needle into the blonde’s neck.

“Isn’t this a bit excessive, Luthor?”

Lena drops the empty syringe pump back into her purse and rests her back against the seat. With a lazy smirk, she drawls “Not at all. I always protect what’s mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, the Kryptonese phrase ‘Tudjinka bl kararehe’ can be define loosely in English as you big dummy… 
> 
> I would like to continue but I ran out of time so I left the ending wide-open to set up future one-shots or multi-shorts if you guys would like to see more of Dolly or you have any whack/insanely cool suggestions. Did you like the new alien’s entrance? Is there anything you like to see more of? 
> 
> Let me know down in the comments below. 
> 
> Click on the magical box of wonders. :):)


End file.
